Thursday, October 10, 2013

Approaching a Year ...

Next week, our baby turns 1 year old. While there were moments when I never imagined that we would survive a week or a month, yet alone a the first year, I can't believe her birthday is a mere seven days away.

One year ago, I looked like this ... puffy, big, bloated ... and beautiful.



My feet were like Herman Munster ... square with the lines from my flip flops embedded into my skin. That morning, we scheduled my induction for the following week, when I hit 39 weeks. I really didn't want to endure the amnio testing, so I chose to wait it out ... another long, puffy, bloated, heavy, big week. I also scheduled an acupuncture appointment but at this point, nothing could help me.

The last month of counting down to Smushie's bday have been emotional ... wondering if I savored every moment like I should; kicking myself for not blogging more or writing more or journaling more; wondering if I should have left the house more; questioning my love/hate journey with breastfeeding and wondering if we'd ever be able to do it again.

No, there is NO discussion about a No. 2 right now, so don't even ask. :)

The last year has been one of incredible growth for my husband, myself and Smushie. One that tested our wits, our strength and our ability to be unconditional. In the last year I've impressed the crap out of myself. There were days when I completely lost it, and there were days when I totally held it together much to my surprise.

As I write this, our little one is snacking in her high chair, letting the dog lick her hands, laughing at the TV and babbling an entire conversation with me. To think that a year ago we didn't know if she was a she or a he, how she would make it into this work and how we would be as parents. And today, it feels like she's been with us for our entire lives.

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