Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Why So Weepy?

In case you haven't heard. I am moving. So is my family. Wait, maybe I should say "My husband is moving and Smushie and I are going too." I actually had someone ask me if I am moving too ...

Anyway, today was a rough day. The move is well, moving right along. And becoming more real with every passing hour, email and phone call.

I've been especially weepy because this move is almost like a living eulogy. How so? Well, take a gander at this. My husband, the guy who secured himself a job in Philadelphia and is moving us east, signed off from his job for the last nine years as a news anchor here in Las Vegas. Over 1,500 people liked his status and almost 500 people commented on it. People who may not have otherwise taken the time out to say something to him about how they've enjoyed watching him, how they enjoy his energy, style, personality and weather delivery. It's kind of nice to have these sentiments, well wishes and blessings to read. While you can read them. Most times you don't get comments like these until you aren't around to hear it.

So why am I all weepy? Well, it started when dropping my daughter off at daycare today. A teacher came in and heard that we were moving and said that she will pray for us. As someone who isn't overly religious, but has religion in my life, that meant a lot to me. That anyone is taking any time out of their days and lives to visit us, wish us well, think about us or pray for us means a lot to me. Then she asked if she can pray with us and her sweet words were so kind, I just started to cry. Just tears, down the cheeks and I held hands with this woman who loved to watch Tedd on TV and loves watching my daughter grow up from the classroom across the hall.

The thing about Vegas and anyone's life here is that you attract who you are, not what you want. If you want good friends who aren't flaky or shady, then don't be flaky or shady. If you don't want drama, then don't be dramatic. If everyone in your life is a certain kind of person, well at some point, you were that person too! If you want kind hearted people in your life who have your back, are always there there for you, will pick up the phone when you call them at 2 a.m., then be that person.

I wasn't always that kind-hearted person. And there are days that I still am not that person. Like when my friend asked for a ride to the airport on Friday and then again on Sunday (Hi, Annie!), I told her I would rather pay her parking than wake up and drive to the airport at 5:30 a.m. :) (Love you, Annie!)

But one thing has always been true: I've always attracted who I was at that point in my life. I mean, duh- it is simple. You want to drink and party, you find party friends. When I wanted to settle down, I maybe more friends who were settled. When I was a negative Nelly, I met other negative people. When I wanted to change, I met others who were looking for change. But they were always perfectly matched for I was. And now, as we prepare to say see ya later, I am realizing that maybe I wasn't such a bad person. Maybe I am the kind and loving person I want my daughter to be.

When I need help and support right now, I have helpers and supporters in my life. Packing up 10 years of just my life into boxes isn't easy. I have 12 days left in this city and 10 years of  "See ya later's" to make.

So why so weepy? Well, when I moved here, almost 10 1/2 years ago, I had nothing. No job. Not enough money in the bank to sustain me for months on end. No one but the friend who moved here with me. No family, no friends. No computer. I didn't even have a digital camera back then. But I am leaving Las Vegas with more than I ever realized I would have. I am leaving with hundreds of loving and supportive friends, years of amazing and creative work experience, I am leaving with a husband and a daughter. I've built a family here. I've accomplished more in Vegas than I have anywhere else in my life ....

To be continued, as I continue to weep. Yea, I know ... a lot of this isn't making a whole lot of sense. Imagine being inside our heads right now.