Thursday, January 5, 2012

What is the hardest part about a beginning?

When on the brink of a new beginning, there is more excitement than challenge. Every day is a new beginning, a fresh slate. Some wait until January 1 to wipe away any bad habits or to implement change. But the good news is … every 24 hours you are presented with a new slate. A slate to wake up and workout. A slate to start wearing mascara and earrings. A slate to begin being nicer to people … every day when your eyes open for the first time is a new beginning.

A beginning ... sunrise over Lake Las Vegas

You know those beginnings will happen every day. But there are some beginnings that show up in our lives and they aren’t planned or invited. A break up, a separation, a loss, a birth, a purchase … they all signal a new beginning and sometimes the hardest part about that beginning is that something ended. You know the line from the song “Closing Time” by Semisonic … “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.” While the lyrics portray a bar scene … the song was actually written as a band member was preparing to become a father. His DINK status comes to an end and his role as a parent begins.

Over time, I’ve become less and less afraid of new beginnings and more and excited about what they represent. Every day you have a chance to wake up and decide how you want to be that day … or what you want to accomplish. You get to say goodbye to the day previous and all of the stressors, disappointments, heartaches and such that were associated with that day. Or … if that day was the most amazing day of your life you get to say goodbye to the amazing memories that were created and say hello to a new opportunity to recreate such amazement.

An ending ... sunset in Tampa, Florida
Sometimes it is hard to let go of a particular belief or feeling of comfort … sometimes new beginnings are uncomfortable. I don’t know too many people who exit a long-term relationship without some sort of emotional tug … But a new beginning is just that: A time to recreate your own destiny, your own design … Today is a new beginning for me … I woke up and found out that my grandfather had passed away early this morning. May he rest in peace.

My Grandpop was 97 years young … he had a sense of humor that would rival Letterman on any day, even up until his last days. While the loss of him is leaving us with a heavy heart, it would be selfish of my to not be relieved for his new beginning. He is at peace and reunited with my grandmother; the love of his life that he lost several years prior. After her passed, I was certain he would follow soon after. They were both stubborn … they must’ve had a fight or something and my grandmother’s way of putting him on probation was to let him live a few years on earth without her. I say that with humor because they were both so stubborn, but so in love. They were blissfully married for over 60 years and I can only hope that my best day of marriage is half as good as their worst. Does that make sense?
My sister, Grandpop, my niece, me in June 2009

Every ending and every beginning are a part of who you are today. If I hadn’t begun today with the news of my grandfather’s passing … I am not sure I would have stopped to smell the roses today or stopped to reflect on what an amazing life he lived and how blessed I am to have had such wonderful grandparents to show me how to love to passionately and permanently. I could go on and on with stories of those two love birds … but I will save them for another day.

Embrace moments, embrace endings and embrace beginnings.


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